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Fuck This Fucking Shit 

The Patriots beat the Chiefs 37-31 in an overtime instant classic at Kansas City, clinching the AFC title and a Super Bowl berth against the Rams. Tom Brady engineered long drives down the field at the end of regulation and in overtime—both of which ended with rushing touchdowns by Rex Burkhead.

Julian Edelman’s Fingertips Taketh, Giveth, Taketh Away

Julian Edelman’s hands ruled the most consequential sequence so far in tonight’s AFC title game. First, down 17-14, the Chiefs punted to the Patriots receiver, who appeared to muff the punt and set Kansas City up for a prime scoring opportunity. It seemed like to me on the replay that he did touch the ball, or at…

There's Only One Way This Could Get Worse There's Only One Way This Could Get Worse

It is absolutely rotten that the Saints’ season was ended at least in part by two blown pass interference calls, including an inexplicable one in the last two minutes. Rams corner Nickell Robey-Coleman, who smashed Saints receiver Tommylee Lewis in the head while the ball was in the air, said of the play: “Oh, hell…

Rams Head To Super Bowl While Saints Are Left To Be Haunted By Terrible Missed Penalty

Look: the officials didn’t make Drew Brees throw a horrific interception in overtime, and they didn’t make Rams kicker Greg Zuerlein nail a 57-yard game-winning field goal despite a low snap a few plays later. In fact, after a quarter and a half where the Saints jumped out to a 13-3 lead and the Rams seemed deeply…

Rams Give Up A Touchdown To Taysom Goddamn Hill Rams Give Up A Touchdown To Taysom Goddamn Hill

The Saints have been force-feeding the ball to their Tebowian backup quarterback Taysom Hill in crucial situations, and head coach Sean Payton’s obsession with Hill paid off today in the third quarter against the Rams. Hill lined up wide on third and goal for a screen, and Drew Brees found one of his backups for a…

The Fan Who Keeps Whistling During Rams-Saints Is Impressively Loud The Fan Who Keeps Whistling During Rams-Saints Is Impressively Loud

You’re not hearing things—it does sound like a whistle is blowing before every Rams offensive play in today’s NFC title game. That noise is very likely being made at least in part by a superfan named Leroy “Whistle Monsta” Mitchell, who’s been doing it at Saints home games for 22 years. The whistle is created just…

MMQB senior editor Gary Gramling delivers the truly batshit take that Andy Reid—who lost four NFC championship games to mostly inferior teams in Philadelphia and then authored two of the worst meltdowns in NFL playoff history in Kansas City—is actually good in the playoffs. Specifically, “‘Andy Reid chokes in the…

What's Up With These NFL Next Gen Stats? What's Up With These NFL Next Gen Stats?

Dating back a few years, the NFL has put microchips in players’ pads to track their movements in games. Since the beginning of the 2017 season, the company that sends you shit in the mail and provides the architecture for a lot of the internet has slapped its name on the statistics generated by those microchips. Some…

Russell Westbrook On If He And Joel Embiid Are Cool: "Fuck No" Russell Westbrook On If He And Joel Embiid Are Cool: "Fuck No"

Thunder-Sixers has become an inordinately frisky inter-conference rivalry. Last season’s two matchups were marked by relentless shit-talking and mockery on-court and online between Sixers center Joel Embiid and Thunder point guard Russell Westbrook. A lot of waving goodbye was involved. The teams played this…

Rams Beat Cowboys With A Star Turn From A Beefy, Beautiful Jon Gruden Castoff Rams Beat Cowboys With A Star Turn From A Beefy, Beautiful Jon Gruden Castoff

Perhaps when Jon Gruden insisted that he got “a lot of phone calls from people who are dying to come and play here,” he was telling the truth, and those players didn’t mention how long they planned on staying. Even the briefest stints in Oakland appear to be performance-enhancing.

Dak Prescott Gets Sacked By His Own Lineman While Standing Upright

The officials in tonight’s Cowboys-Rams game made their own avant-garde contribution to the NFL’s constantly expanding reality. Is a catch a catch if no one recovers what is later ruled a fumble? Did a play actually end on the one-inch line if it was originally ruled a touchdown? And now: can a quarterback be ruled…

Report: Bulls Give Jim Boylen An Extension? And A Raise?? During A Six-Game Losing Streak???? Report: Bulls Give Jim Boylen An Extension? And A Raise?? During A Six-Game Losing Streak????

Jim Boylen’s tenure as the Chicago Bulls’ interim head coach been marked by near-mutiny from his own players and rarely-seen open mocking from other teams, but also: the actual basketball has been really shitty. The Bulls are 5-13 under Boylen, a hair better than their 5-19 start under possible future Timberwolves…

Here's A Nice Patrick Mahomes Throw To Drool Over Here's A Nice Patrick Mahomes Throw To Drool Over

Are you tired of sportswriters over-ascribing thinking to every physical motion and intent to every split-second decision? Then you’ve come to the wrong damn blog post! Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes mostly just missed on his most ambitious throws in the divisional round today, but early in the second half, he dipped his…

The Colts Scored A Touchdown Before Getting A First Down The Colts Scored A Touchdown Before Getting A First Down

The Chiefs are manhandling the Colts on both sides of the ball right now, but the game is still faintly in reach thanks to this blocked punt by Najee Goode and end-zone recovery by Zach Pascal.

Duke Beat Florida State With A Wide-Open Game-Winner Duke Beat Florida State With A Wide-Open Game-Winner

Duke forward Cam Reddish had been ice cold for over a month, shooting just 25% from the field since the Blue Devils’ Dec. 1 win over Stetson. Instead, Zion Williamson and R.J. Barrett have carried the load over an eight-game winning streak.

NC State Player Ejected For Flipping Opponent Down By The Ankle

With Grayson Allen on to antagonizing and endangering opponents in the NBA, NC State forward Wyatt Walker has taken up his mantle in the ACC. The Samford transfer was ejected just two minutes into Saturday’s game for the maneuver you see above. Pitt’s Xavier Johnson went hard to the rim against Walker, drawing a block…

It's "Big Dick Nick"

“His throwing motion is a languid shrug, and his passes carve loopy, floaty arcs that seem certain to be intercepted until they settle softly into his receivers’ hands. On the field, he has no obvious rare athletic endowments that explain his success; only in the locker room, it is said by his teammates, is his…

Cody Parkey Double-Doinked And Kept The Nick Foles Magic Alive

With ten seconds left in the game against Philadelphia, Bears kicker Cody Parkey somehow hit the goalpost and the crossbar on a 43-yard field goal attempt that would have eliminated the Eagles from the playoffs. The double-doinked kick was not good, and big-dicked god-king Nick Foles survived another day. (Update: the…

Bears Complete 30-Yard Pass For No Gain As Officials Recover Fumble Bears Complete 30-Yard Pass For No Gain As Officials Recover Fumble

The Eagles-Bears game got weird right before halftime when Eagles cornerback Cre’Von Leblanc wrested the ball from Bears receiver Anthony Miller in an impressive display of strength. The play was initially ruled an incompletion, but the inhuman standard of slow motion showed that Miller caught the ball and then…

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