Chris Thompson's posts - Danish uPOST

JUPITER, Florida — It’s hard to imagine anyone driving to Orchids of Asia for a massage, let alone being driven there in a luxury automobile from a luxury home in a ritzy town 30 minutes away. It’s a drab, faded, unimpressive-looking place, with sun-bleached signage, in a shopping center that offers no obvious lure…

New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft, one of the most powerful men in American football, was charged today on two counts of soliciting prostitution in connection to a recent law enforcement bust on massage parlors in Florida that, according to law enforcement, were used for prostitution and human trafficking. The…

Wednesday night the crummy Georgia Bulldogs did very well to come back against a Mississippi State team that led in the second half by as many as 17 points, at 44–27. From that point until the final second of regulation, the home team outscored the other Bulldogs 40-23, including a clutch three-pointer with ten…

Zion Williamson’s shoe exploded Wednesday night, in the first minute of the big Duke game against North Carolina, and Zion hurt his knee on the play. For most people, this is rotten news for human or basketball reasons; for screeching brandwraith Darren Rovell, this is the single most exhilarating thing that could’ve…

Professional cheerleaders being subjected to degrading and objectifying appraisals and overall treatment is, infuriatingly, pretty much par for the course. Frankly, it’s probably old hat at every level, but anyway this story out of Wisconsin is a useful reminder of just how much gross shit cheerleaders—and women and…

“A lot of people can say things, but I’m superior in action and I’m ready for any conversation about what I’m doing because this is the realest shit.” Remember Chris Douglas-Roberts? Dana O’Neil of The Athletic catches up with CDR—now calling himself Supreme Bey—during a colorful phase of post-NBA personal exploration.

Pro golfer Matt Kuchar announced today that he’s seen the light on the decision to stiff his fill-in caddie at a tournament in Mexico in November, no doubt due to the hearty all-shit diet he’s consumed in the months since. Kuchar offered an apology and says he has now settled up with caddie David Ortiz:

The depressing Anthony Davis situation in New Orleans brushed right up against disaster Thursday night, when Davis sustained a shoulder injury at the very end of the first half of an eventual Pelicans win over the Oklahoma City Thunder. A significant Davis injury, sustained while playing meaningless minutes for a…

For just the second time since the calendar flipped over to 2019, the Knicks have won a regular season NBA basketball game, topping the lowly Hawks—and in Atlanta, no less—by the score of 106–91. It’s been 41 days since the team last tasted victory, a span covering a franchise-record 18 consecutive losses.

Once, long ago, I was staying the night at a friend’s house when his family’s very old Basset Hound, Frances, took an extremely unpleasant shit on the kitchen floor. There was a sturdy mound of dense turds coated in an expanding puddle of glistening, phlegmy ooze, and it had a stench that could break a person’s mind,…

In the fourth quarter of Wednesday night’s Warriors-Trail Blazers game, referee Kenny Mauer went to the replay monitor to check a hard foul from Draymond Green on a cutting Zach Collins. The game had already gotten chippy, after a huge Collins chase-down block at the other end seemed to unsettle the Warriors. Seconds…

Isaiah Thomas returned to the court Wednesday night for the first time in nearly 11 months, as a reserve for the Denver Nuggets. He was pretty good, going for eight points in 13 minutes of burn, and finishing plus-2 in a game the Nuggets won on another hideous Nikola Jokic game-winner.

“I joked that if we started our sites a year earlier we’d be Mark Cuban right now.” If you liked the New York Times story about the indispensable Sports Reference network of sites, here’s an even better one, from a year ago, with much more meat on its bones, from Noah Frank of WTOP. It’s worth your time.

Tonight is apparently a good night for bouncy young dudes on horrendous Eastern Conference cellar-dwellers to rise up and violently jam on someone whose season hasn’t already ended. First we had Kevin Knox posterizing the hell out of Ben Simmons, and now we’ve got Marquese Chriss of the Cavaliers thundering home a…

John Elway has a very poor history of acquiring quarterbacks for his Denver Broncos. This isn’t to say he can’t do it, or that he’s doomed to failure, or even that all his failures to date are necessarily his fault. Maybe he’s been really unlucky! Point is, if you’re looking for evidence that being a great quarterback…

Dan Snyder’s underhanded scheme to plop a new home for his constitutionally corrupt and dysfunctional football team somewhere in the DC metropolitan area is suddenly in the deepest of shit. The DC power-move went to shit, and now the proposed site in Maryland, the acquisition of which would’ve required considerable…

Klay Thompson’s Tuesday night got off to a nauseating start, when his finger did something very gross in the first quarter of the Warriors’ home game against the Utah Jazz. Thompson was working against Donovan Mitchell when his hand appeared to smash into Mitchell’s side, and came away looking very crooked.

TNT rolled right through a few quiet seconds of a dead-ball in the first half of Tuesday night’s Celtics-76ers game, leaving the Players Only broadcast crew to chat through what might normally be filled by a relevant chyron and/or the small-talk skills of a professional play-by-play announcer. It seems like the trio…

The Lakers issued a statement Monday evening clarifying the timeline of communication between Magic Johnson and Ben Simmons, back in November, when Simmons reached out to Magic for tips about playing in the NBA as a humongous point guard who can’t shoot. This is something I’m afraid we all have to care about, now.

The Houston Rockets resorted to just the saddest damn evidence imaginable Monday night, in an effort to push back against James Harden’s well-earned reputation as an often distracted and indifferent defensive player: